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How to successfully address Cyberbullying

It is not your fault!

There was a bullying case in my children’s school. Although the school showed a very professional approach, it made me think! How would I react when my child would be involved in bullying? That’s when I started to read through the Internet. And I can tell you that the Internet is full of information on bullying to the point of being overwhelming. Knowing that there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution I try to share my internet-research in a nutshell, focusing on the part of being bullied.

 

How to tell if your child is bullied?

In general, any behavior out of the normal should be looked at to find out why. Be aware if your child is:

  • Being more quiet than normal
  • Has difficulty sleeping and has frequent nightmares
  • Has grades going down
  • Is obsessed about social networking and checking text messages.

Try to engage your child in conversations to find out more!

 let the child know ‘You are not alone’

How to react if your child is bullied?

It is very hard for parents to deal with the fact that their own child is being hurt. Their own emotions might force them to overreact.

  • It is absolutely important to get the emotions down to a level that allows you to listen and communicate well with your child.
  • Let the child know it’s not his or her fault. Children feel shame and confusion and ask ‘why me?’
  • It is important to let the child know ‘You are not alone’
  • Introduce your child to the school counselor and explain the counselor’s duty to confidentiality
  • Be aware that children might prefer to use terms like ‘drama’, ‘mean gossip’, ‘pranks’ and ‘arguments’ instead of bullying.
  • Provide Internet security. Here is a very informative link on how to do that.

 

Some practical advice for children and adults

 

  • Don’t respond or retaliate!
  • Block the bully so that he or she can’t send you messages online.
  • Delete messages from bullies without reading them.
  • Report to the content provider. The most popular webpages like facebook, google and Youtube make it easy to report cyberbullying.
  • If they don’t stop, collect evidence! Save and print the messages.
  • Talk to close friends. Bullies try to isolate their victim. It can help to talk the situation over      with a friend and have a group of supporters stand behind you.
  • Involve police if bullying is extreme.

Children feel shame and confusion and ask ‘why me?’

Most important! Develop an action plan TOGETHER!

 

Most children don’t tell their parents about being bullied. One of the reasons is that they are afraid their parents’ intervention will make things worse. So if your child comes to you feel lucky he or she trusts you.

  • It is important to involve your child instead of taking over yourself.
  • Collect more facts by talking with your child about the situation.
  • Work out a plan of action together.

I am usually happy if people like my posts, smile and feel that they have learned something new. With this one however, I would be happy if you would share it.

youRnotAlone

Help-webpages

I found these two webpages offering help anonymously as well as contact numbers.

http://www.stompoutbullying.org/livechat_portal.php

http://www.connectsafely.org/resources-for-youth-in-crisis/

Further read:

http://www.stopbullying.gov/respond/index.html

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/cyberbullying

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-wide-wide-world-psychology/201304/why-do-some-kids-cyberbully-others

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/parenting-in-digital-age/201310/is-your-daughter-cyberbully-heres-how-tell

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simplyilka

Hi I'm Ilka, a self-development writer and lovable scientist with a knowledgeable expertise in brain science. I help people realize the power our behavior has on our brain - and the other way around.

xbox2121 - November 14, 2013

My kids are grown and gone but this is good information for people with children !

writerwannabe763 - November 15, 2013

Bullying is a topic that is very close to my heart and your post is so good in explaining what to do etc. I was going to reblog and couldn’t find a reblog button and in checking why I find that it is likely because you are a .com site and not wordpress.com ?? At least that’s the only reason I can determine. I don’t do anything with my blog or others on fb etc… and I very seldom re-blog… but as I said this was worth doing so. I wrote once on bullying also. My kids are now of course grown but it is still a topic I would love to see more done about…. Diane

    simplyilka - November 15, 2013

    Thank you so much for your kind words Diane. I didn’t realize the Reblog wasn’t there. I tried to add it and shows at my computer now. I hope it does on yours as well. Thanks again, and I am glad we are in touch 🙂

writerwannabe763 - November 15, 2013

Reblogged this on hometogo232 and commented:
Bullying is a rampant problem for children and it will only stop if we keep making it an issue so parents and teachers can do something… educate them but mostly to watch and ‘be aware’. I thought this was so good at explaining it and so want to re-blog it …. This is an issue that is close to my heart…. Diane

russtowne - November 15, 2013

Thank you for sharing this information and for keeping bullying in the light where it can be seen and addressed rather than in the shadows where it will grow.
Russ

simplyilka - November 16, 2013

Thanks for reading. I am glad you care so much about children 🙂

navigator1965 - November 29, 2013

Reblogged this on The Mirror and commented:
An excellent and practical post for parents.

Dugutigui - November 29, 2013

Good advices.

Kim 24/7 in France - December 1, 2013

Great advice to an increasingly alarming issue, which I have shared. Merci, too, for visiting/following my blog.

    simplyilka - December 2, 2013

    Thank you! I am glad you liked the post. And it is a pleasure to follow your blog. Like I said there, I have good memories of the cote d’azur 🙂

Nini Riedel - February 18, 2014

Good topic. Unfortunately too much bullying is going on these days on an alarmingly high level. Hopefully this will help people in need. Being the bullyed one or being the bully and make you aware of how devasteting bullying can be.

    simplyilka - February 18, 2014

    Thank you Nini! You are absolutely right. It is on an alarmingly high level. It happens basically everywhere, and everyone can be a victim.

    Thank you for your support. It hope it will make a difference 🙂

Ella - June 27, 2014

Hi Ilka!

Excellent selection of great advice!

It can’t be said enough. Thank you!

    simplyilka - June 29, 2014

    Thanks Ella!

    Yes, I cannot be said enough. We probably won’t be able to stop bullying totally. But if people react right it can change a lot.

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